My Life

Finding Your Ikigai, Or True Purpose In Life

So I stumbled upon this Japanese concept called “Ikigai” (生き甲斐, pronounced ee-kee-gah-ee) the other day and have been thinking a lot about it lately.  This phrase means finding your true purpose and passion in life. It’s finding the thing that you get excited to go do each day, or it’s your happy reason to get out of bed in the morning. The great thing about this concept is that it is unique to all of us. We each have our own passions and feelings of purpose. And that diversity is what I think is so amazing.

Sometimes we meet those people who are living their passions, and they have such a zeal for life that is it awe inspiring. My husband is one of those people. He knew since he was a kid that he wanted to be an artist. And he was just stubborn enough to devote his every waking second to that dream. It took years and years of hard work, but eventually his stubbornness paid off and he landed his dream job making art every day.


It’s so inspiring to me to hear stories like these, because it fills me with hope and optimism for the future. I mean, wouldn’t it be great if we could all find our Ikigai?

For some, finding their Ikigai isn’t obtaining a dream they’ve had since they were little. Sometimes people ask me about how I found my dream and how I obtained it. The road of life is different for everyone, but I thought I would try to write down a little bit about this search for anyone looking for their true passion or purpose in life.


To help find your own reason or purpose, many professionals suggest starting with these four questions to get you thinking about your true purpose or passion.

  • What do you love?
  • What are you good at?
  • What does the world need from you?
  • What can you get paid for?


In the book, “The Mindful Entrepreneur” author Michael E. Gerber actually covers this very topic. (Yes, I realize this is a business book, but it actually dives into self reflection and self discovery quite a bit.) In the book Michael asks the main character to reflect on what he would want his grandchildren to say about him at his funeral.

Now hang on, I know this sounds bizarre, but bear with me. Michael asks his character to think about what they would say beyond the “he was a great man” or “he was my favorite grandpa” stuff and really dig deep. Dig into what you would want people to say about your life, how you lived it, and what impact it had on others. Michael, and myself, are firm believers that passion and purpose come through helping others. Now, how you do that is uniquely you. You might bring joy to people through your amazing art, or you might help people by being a veterinarian and making people’s pets better. Your passion and purpose are all your own. But it might be a valuable exercise to try and visualize what others would say about you and your life years from now.


Another friend of mine is a religious shepherd who helps guide people. Much of what they do revolves around helping people find inner peace. So I asked my friend this question to try and get a more spiritual viewpoint, and their main point of advice is to think about what gets you excited when you wake up in the morning. What is the first thing you think about? Or what brings that big, happy smile to your face? That is a great starting point to try and determine what your passion or purpose may be in life.

And don’t worry if you need to take some time to think about these things. This is a subject that only you can answer, so be sure to be kind to yourself as you set out on this journey of self discovery. And don’t worry if it takes some time. A family friend didn’t find her true purpose until she was 57 years old. It’s never too late to head down the road to a more fulfilling life.

I believe in you!


As always, please like and subscribe to this channel to stay up to date on new content, and head on over to Instagram (@fey_fitness) to give me a follow or to YouTube at Fey Fitness.

My Patreon page is now live, so please go show some love there as well. I’d like to make some upgrades to my videos to enhance your viewing pleasure, and any support would be greatly appreciated!







My Life

Self Talk and Communication Styles for Your Health

For those of you that know me, I still work a full time job while striving to achieve my dream of being a full time personal trainer for those of us with atrial fibrillation. And my day job is in an industry known for being high-stress and with a high-burnout rate.

Because of this my organization takes health and wellness seriously. We often have specialists come and talk to us about topics like: work/life balance, stress reduction, time management and most recently, self talk.

The conversation really hit home for me because I’ve been doing a lot of self talk lately about my goals for Fey Fitness in 2018. I love helping people, but being a business owner isn’t a skill set I have yet, so there’s a lot of introspection regarding this. Today’s discussion at work got me thinking and I thought I would share the notes I took today in case they are helpful to others.


If you have questions please let me know. And as always, please like and subscribe to this site to stay up to date on new content, and head on over to Instagram (@fey_fitness) to give me a follow or to YouTube at Fey Fitness.

My Patreon page is now live, so please go show some love there as well. I’d like to make some upgrades to my videos to enhance your viewing pleasure, and any support would be greatly appreciated!











“Self talk”

Be mindful of your conversations with yourself.  Notice what message you say to yourself throughout the day.  What positive statements can you substitute for negative self talk.

Examples – Negative or Positive self talk

“I have too much to do”                or         “I will put together a realistic plan for the day”

“1st things 1st”

“I am doing my best”

“Things will never change”      or           “I will do arrange a time talk with x about x”

                                                                   “How can I make this better?”

                                                                   “I have the choice to accept”



Communication styles

Be keen and to yours and others communication styles and traits. Tailor your messages to their style.


·      High level of emotional self-control, low-level assertiveness

·      Precise, deliberate and systematic approach

·      Industrious, objective and well-organized workers

·   Approach with agenda, quiet and serious

·   Focus on task and accuracy


·      High level of emotional self control and assertiveness

·      Decisive, results-oriented and competitive

·      Independent and able to get things done

·   Approach with objective, business like

·   Focus on task and conclusions


·      High level of emotional responsiveness, low-level assertiveness

·      Sympathetic and empathetic to others

·      Trust others

·      Approach with personal comment, friendly, casual

·      Focus on relationship and agreement


·   High level emotional responsiveness and assertiveness

·   “Big picture” people, innovators and risk-takers

·   Ability to charm, persuade and inspire people

·      Approach with compliment, fast moving pace

·      Focus on relationship, intentions and inspiration